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Thank you for brilliant advice.

Thank you for brilliant advice Darren.

True. Brilliantly said Darren. Reality is too painful for the narcissist and they will not take accountability for what they have done because it would have crashed them. Our recovery can not be based on the validation of people who are detached from reality and immersed in a fantasy - which is not truth.

Anyone keeping track of you is emotionally abusing you!

Briliantly said Darren. True. Thank you for great advice. Be the villain- say NO, have boundaries, don’t explain, engage, defend or personalise anything they say or do. Live you true life in authenticity and integrity. Truth is always good enough and it needs no defence.

Please give more examples of how you too were at the receiving end of toxic trait abuse,Darren I have a big problem with my sibling- he interrupts when i talk,then accuses me of doing it😮,walks out while I talk then excuses himself by saying ,"I cant stand all day and listen to you" He talks over me I am sure he is a narcissist with defiant personality When i ask him to give my till slip,he has excuses,when i ask him not to do stuff he does it He makes me out to be the problem,tells me to "just keep quiet"!

"I want you to feel what I felt" 🎉

My mom gave every extra cent to the church. Our family is broke and she has no money for her retirement or healthcare😂 bizarre

"I don't know what I did but I'll always love you". CRINGE 🥶

How salient to American politics is this

If being the villain in his fantasy is what it costs for my freedom, so be it.

I'm constantly gas lit by my daughter. When I call her out she just say's " I never said that, you are so defensive'

How long?

How many narcissists will hear this and think, "This is all about me! I totally need to take more space in the world and stop being so accommodating to everyone else!"

Oh my lord.... I go through this almost daily. It's so mind numbing. Thank you, Darren.

Thank you so much for this video clip. Your strategies make good sense.

Don’t react to others but take control & respond instead even if it’s simply a NO. Period. Gray rock works with nonviolent narcissists because they’re just wanting validation so withdrawing your attention starves them of emotion & they lose interest in baiting you. Narcs need fuel & if it’s too much effort to get supply from you then they’ll turn elsewhere. Let them go!

To the the survivors STOP: 1. Overgiving 2. Explaining; they don't care. 3. Trying to fix them. 4. Waiting for them to change. They never will. 5. Analyzing them. You will NEVER get your wasted time back. ❤

I listened to this one 3 times, Darren, and saved it. I'm amazed at what you understand, but even more, the way you express it so well.

The codependency is something I just can't get into. It might be overdone, but I do anything I can to show that they are adults and can do simple stuff ON THEIR OWN.

Ironing "Basket"..... This means it's okay to throw our stuff in a basket? ...and iron it bit by bit? Wow..... This is indeed stress relieving. I mean no disrespect, only compliments

My relationship with the person l married was destroying me while they played the victim. Their passive aggressive behaviors after the actual threat of having a gun put in my face while ill because of sleep deprivation. Extremely childish after destroying my home and almost breaking me financially, physically, emotionally. I have experienced escalating ill health every since l have been with this person. Divorcing after 14 years of trying to help someone who thinks l am the problem. I let go and let GOD YEHOSHUA CREATOR deal with this hot mess.

Don't be ridiculous Darren....you are an absolute treasure. Your voice is so calming and reassuring.

I love it when Darren gets distracted, it has a way of normalizing the situation, reminding us that we all have our own challenges, weaknesses, strengths, & stepping stones. Thankyou Darren

Thank you

I just realised my dad is a a covert narcissist. He honestly do everything that been said in the video. I used to be daddy’s girl all my life. He use to tell me as a child he fight with my mother for me and because of me. He always play the victim and need us to agree with everything he says because he has “more life experience for us” He always disappoint with every choice me and my sisters/brother do. If we do something he doesn’t want us to do he will talk about forever. He never take accountability, blame me, my mom or sisters/brother on everything but he always perfect. How could I not see it before?????

Thank you so much for this great video.

All platforms that continue to participate in anymore of the online bullying campaign that existed in the narcissistic abuse community will be reported to authorities. I’m taking further measures due to the catastrophic loss to my personal life when I do not have any connection to those accusations. They are based on defamatory and inflammatory statements. This was a s*ic*de campaign against me and that obviously is excessive to say the least.

OCD Treatment Has Helped Me With Recognizing the Ruminations & The Compulsions And to Stop Trying to Seek Reassurance Where it Does Not Has Not & Never Will Exist Here's to Authentically & Compassionately Trusting Our Selfs Who Just Wanna Feel Safer.

Thank you SO MUCH, Darren! I really needed to hear this today, right now! You are our strong Ally, which is very important, as many of us have no family or friend support, no one who understands. For me, it's a really embarrassing and emotional subject. I'm from the older generation, and I had never heard of narcissism. If I'd known anything about it, I could have recognized what was happening and responded in better ways. Most days, I watch one of your videos for comfort. God bless you!

Excellent video- you are my favorite to learn about nar. Great format & examples. THANKYOU!

🌻

Thanx so much from Crystal River Florida 💚🧜‍♀️🐬🏝️🐢🦩🐸 it’s always a heat wave in the summer here!

I've quite bpd and my ex has petulant bpd. The relationship was so unhealthy and I was drained all the time and now I'm ruminating and self blaming. Thank you for your videos it all makes sense now

I've been through a lot in my life...but surviving very malignant narcissistic abuse was like surviving a war for me. 10 year exit narc now. 💪 (still in recovering). Education (like these videos), therapy, faith, sports, hobbies, good food and good sleep and no !!! contact at all with narc and his fan club is/was the best remedy.

Sir, I just want to thank you for your great videos. They are very helpful.

I have a friend who is trying to rescue a grandiose Nic female (divorcee) who has become “fragile” and vulnerable. But he is feeling bogged down by her “insanity”-middle of the night calls, Nic rage, drinking, being called upon to be confidante and fixer. Having trouble standing up for himself. Am very sorry for him, have tried to suggest that the co-dependency is not sufficient and he will be unable to fix her life, through a mutual friend, but do not know what is happening at this point. Sad. He seems to have a psychologist friend who says she has a personality disorder. Well, yes!! But what to do,

Coming out of years of history in the US, female children are very often taught that their worth comes from serving the male members of the family. And they grow up being people pleasers, and hoping for approval. It does go too far, and is not good for either gender.

This is good information, but, I’d like to hear more about the physical abuse of children. Having been abused myself, I think there’s a slight difference between a grown person who chooses to stay in a toxic relationship, versus a child who has no choice but to endure a toxic parent.

Hi the book I mentioned is called ""Beyond Codependency: And Getting Better All the Time" by Melody Beattie. There is also "Facing Codependence: What It Is, Where It Comes from, How It Sabotages Our Lives" by Pia Mellody

@ 10:25 true! There is not a certain amount of time to give, how many opportunities to give for things to turn around. Lol 201st time will do it - nope 😂. Also true we seek justice, for them to understand the pain and hurt and admit/ take accountability but that is not in them or it would not have gone on as long as it had.

The betrayal that happened with my narcissistic mother in law and her using my own child against me is hard to deal with. I took your advice and stood in my authenticity. As a result of no contact my narc mother in law started to trip up in her own lies. My children have now seen behind the mask and the tables have turned. I am so happy to say that my daughter is talking to me again and has spoken out against her grandmother. You were right. The older narcissist will crack eventually and their true self will show. I am so grateful for your advice Darren. You saved my life, my sanity and my self belief. I am forever grateful.

What's missing in this conversation is how patriarchy and systems of oppression affect the creation of these personalities. Hope everyone gets to read "Men, Masculinity and Love" by Bell Hooks. Patriarchy traumatizes boys and breeds narcissism and abusive behaviors in men.

I loved this interview, it was very informative. Two different personalities with their own unique source of information and knowledge about narcism. When I look at Richard, I still feel his pain. I wish both of you the very best and see you again (with or without dress code 😅). Thanks.

I had major spine surgery. He made a public presentation about being my caretaker. The first bandage change he was totally unprepared and left me in a physically vulnerable position while I cried from fear. When he finally finished, he ignored me and just walked away without any acknowledgement of the tears streaming down my face. None. Months later when I confronted him, he made something up that did not happen. Not the first time, but I was prepared with my journal notes!!! I have never witnessed that before and I hope I never do again: no emotional response at all to another person's pain. That is a very, very sobering realization. At times, I feel like I am in the presence of an alien.

What I put up with, how i allowed that person to treat me Never again.

Betrayal trauma that began with parents who were narcissistic is almost impossible to resolve unless we go no contact with them as well as siblings or partners then start the wounded inner child work. Big Carol talks to Little Carol now & gives hugs as well as feels all emotions no matter how scary or painful ❤️‍🩹 once you start to pay real attention to that terrified prisoner within you then you can begin the recovery ❤️‍🩹 healing is possible! I am 66 & home, safe as well as free in my own body